By Matthew Hall
Well, we are midway through the NBA season and this year has been filled with a number of eccentric players. As a senior in high school, it only made sense to compile a “Senior Superlative” themed list for the season. Enjoy!
Best dressed: Russell Westbrook
Terrifying or creative, all I can say is that somebody needs to fix the light in Westbrook’s closet.
Most Valuable Beard:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA just kidding:
Most defining nickname: Glen Davis AKA Big Baby
Big Baby just wants some love! Why won’t anybody understand?
Biggest drama queen: PJ Hairston
It’s a known fact that flopping has been incorporated into the game of basketball, but Hairston has brought it to a new level. I’m not sure if he was having Vietnam flashbacks or broke a nail, but Hairston is by far the best choice for the superlative.
Most likely to succeed: Golden State Warriors
With the best offense, the best defense, and the arguably best coach it’s hard to envision a team that will end up better this season than the Warriors. As a Rockets’ fan:
Most likely to be carded at the age of 40: Gordon Hayward
He’s a great player, has earned his paycheck, but don’t lie: Hayward looks like he’s a member of (insert Greek letters) fraternity.
Class Clown: Joel Embiid
A native of Cameroon, our sources at Role Player of the Year say that Embiid learned how to make people laugh before he could speak, or type. Although he has yet to rack up any minutes in the NBA, Embiid’s social media antics have made him the class clown of the NBA.
A list of examples: http://www.complex.com/sports/2014/07/joel-embiid-nba-twitter-mvp/17
Teacher’s Pet: Austin Rivers
Now that Austin Rivers is being coached by his father on the Clippers, dinner conversations between the two are going to be a lot more interesting. Now that he’s older, maybe Doc will raise Austin’s allowance from 10 mpg to 15 mpg.
Most likely to drop the hottest mixtape of 2015: Nick Young, AKA Swaggy P
Being the man-child that Nick Young is, it’s hard not love watching him play in conjunction with Kobe Bryant. Aside from an average NBA career, Nick Young is cousins with rapper Kendrick Lamar and is dating rapper Iggy Azalea. I think I speak for the hip hop community when I say that we’re excited for the inevitable “Disciple of Mamba” to drop in stores.
Most likely to get lost in an American shopping mall: Giannis Antetekounpo
It’s hard not to love Antetokounmpo. The second year player out of Greece is a freak of nature (hence the nickname “the Greek Freak”). Anteteokounmpo has earned this beloved award for his innocence. Apparently, there aren’t any smoothies in Greece, so when in Rome… Well, America, he learned what a smoothie was! If the Bucks ever want to raise money for charity, all they need to do is auction off a spot to take Giannis to CostCo for the first time and let him try all of their free samples. Welcome to America, Giannis.
Most likely to be banned from Disney World: Steven Adams
No description necessary.
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